Ending C

(The scene opens in the Conservatory where Peacock is trying to get out of the room, but Mustard is blocking her.  Mustard takes a swing with the wrench but Peacock ducks and hits Mustard in the hand with the lead pipe, knocking the wrench out of Mustard’s hand. )

Mustard:  What the hell did you do that for?

Peacock:  to protect myself!  You took the first swing!

Mustard (holding his injured hand): This ends right here!

Peacock:  Yes, it does!  I under-estimated how crazy you were.

Mustard:  Crazy, I am!?!?

Peacock:  Yes, Steve warned me how militant you can become.  I just didn’t think that meant homicidal.

Mustard: It’s time to put an end to your lies and deceit!

(Mustard lunges for Peacock and both hit the floor. They wrestle around on the floor with Peacock holding her own against Mustard.  Each one is trying to get ahold of either weapon.  Mustard is able to get to his feet and grab the wrench.  He goes to swing it at Peacock but as he winds up she stands up quickly and knees him in the testicles.  Mustard falls to the ground, thriving in pain.  Peacock bends over to pick up the lead pipe when she stands upright she is struck in the back of the head with the candlestick.  Mustard recovers enough to see what’s going on and sees Scarlet standing over Peacock’s body holding the candlestick).

Mustard:  Miss Scarlet!  I knew you were the killer!

(White enters the Conservatory holding Mustard’s gun, stands next to Scarlet and aims gun at Mustard.)

White:  Let’s not jump the gun!

Mustard:  I should have known you two were in on it together, you poured the act on a little too thick.

Scarlet:  Oh, we still hate each other!

White:  You’re damn right we do, you hateful bitch!

Scarlet:  It’s amazing what a difference $5 million makes.

 (Mustard stands up still very much in pain)

Mustard:  You two won’t get away with this!

Scarlet:  Why not?  We have money to collect, just one little final matter.

(Mustard grabs the wrench and taps it in the palm of his hand as to suggest he’s about to kill them.)

White:  You’re kidding right?  You think you’re going to beat us with that wrench.  Need I remind you that there were two bullets missing?  The first one was one for Prof. Plum and well you get one guess where the second one is going. 

Scarlet:  Oh, I think it has your name on it!

Mustard:  I will kill you two bitches, I swear

(White pulls the trigger and kills Mustard blowing a whole through his chest.  Scarlet covers her ears)

White:  Was that really necessary?

Scarlet:  Yes, you wanted him dead didn’t you?

White:  Not that you idiot, I thought you said you were going to put the silencer back on?

Scarlet:  Why?  We’re the only ones left and now we’re millionaires.

White:  First things first we need to clean this mess up!

Scarlet:  Why?  We’re just going to leave after this?

White:  When, not if, but when the cops come I don’t want to make their job easy?

 (Scarlet smirks in agreement)

White:  Let’s start with Mrs. Peacock, make sure she’s dead.

Scarlet:  I whacked her pretty good, I would be surprised if she survived.

White:  Just check, please.

(As Scarlet bends down to check her pulse, White picks up the lead pipe on the floor and whacks Scarlet over the head with it.  She falls to the ground, bleeding from her head but still conscious.  White straddles Scarlet who is obviously injured and near death).

White:  There, there Miss Scarlet, don’t feel bad like most whores you served your purpose but your money is on the nightstand so it’s time to go!

(White winds back with the lead pipe as Scarlet’s eyes open all the way.  White repeatedly smashes Scarlet’s face in with the lead pipe. There is no doubt that Scarlet is dead.  She stands up and notices all the blood that is on her maid’s uniform).

White (to herself):  Now, that was satisfying.  (Sigh of exasperation).  I need to get changed if I’m going to catch my flight!

(White walks out of the Conservatory and heads down to her living quarters in the cellar.  She changes back into the black dress that Steve gave her earlier. After changing, she heads up to the Dining Room.  She sits down in the chair she sat at during dinner looking down at Steve’s dead body. 

White (says to herself):  I couldn’t have planned that better….oh wait I did plan it just like that!

(White goes over to the record player and puts on a song, it’s Rufus Wainwright’s “Dinner at 8”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BscDa4X4_o

(White sits down at the kitchen table and lights a cigarette.   White knows every word of the song and sings along looking at Steve’s body the entire time.  After the song is over, White gets up and heads into the kitchen and steps over Green’s body.  She opens the pantry door and pushes on the hook that the aprons hang on.  The wall extends back revealing a second secret passage.  She starts walking in the secret passage and stops halfway down.  There is a bag of money there. White kneels down and grabs a fistful of dollars

White (to herself):  Miss Scarlet, I still don’t know how you killed Mr. Green and Prof. Plum!

(A man’s voice coming directly behind says “She didn’t”.  White is in complete surprise as she recognizes the voice belonging to Mr. Green.  As she turns around Green takes the knife out of his chest and stabs White in the in the upper right shoulder.  She falls to the ground and Green stands over her. White cannot move and is in an incredible amount of pain.)

White:  How?  You were bleeding, Col, Mustard had to wipe your blood off of his hands

(Green takes off his suit jacket revealing a large vest underneath)

Green:  It was all rather easy, actually.  Granted, you need the right tools for the job.

(Green points to a part of the vest which has an opening to store a knife.  He dabs his finger on his vest and a little blood is on his finger.  He tastes it and grimaces and then says "at least it looks like blood")

White: So when I stabbed you, I really just put the knife in your holster

Green:  Well technically, you didn’t stab anything but air.  I had to do most of the work. Even though the lights were out, I knew it was you.  Oh, and good touch with short-circuiting the electricity at that exact moment.

White:  I used a….

Green:  Oh, I know what you used.  I saw the fusebox.  Funny, nobody else asked to see the fusebox.  Amateur criminals!

White:  So are you a professional criminal?

Green (blushing in a sick & twisted way):  Well I don’t like to brag but one doesn’t get the name Mr. Green by not knowing what he is doing.  That’s right I’m Mr. Green because I’m rich….FAT FUCKING RICH!  What they say is true the rich get richer!  (Green laughs maniacally). 

White:  and that whole speech about being nothing like your father was a total crock?

Green:  Oh no, that part was true.  I’m nothing like my father, I don’t get caught!  (more maniacal laughing).

White:  So why not finish the job?

Green:  Oh, I will momentarily.  When you are as good as I am with murder, you get to chronicle every detail to your last victim.  You don’t want to steal that from me, do you?

White:  You’re sick!

Green:  (in an animated, demented fashion):  Of course I’m crazy!  So are you, you geriatric, possessive, controlling insane bitch. 

(White tries to get up but she can’t, the pain is too intense.)

 Green: You see I came here tonight plotting every detail of what it would take for 6 murders, including how big of a vest I would need.

White:  When you came to the kitchen?

Green:  I don’t care what seasonings you put in your god damn brine.  No, I had to scope out the knives.  You see tonight was so much easier than I anticipated so thank you.  Steve, or Mr. Body as I like to call him was killed-for me.  The electricity was cut-for me, my life was attempted at for me, so a genuine thank you!

 (White tries to spit at him, but all that comes out is blood)

Green:  Shall I continue?

(Silence from White)

Green:  Now, I did have to kill Prof. Plum…and let me tell you how difficult it was to find a silencer for that gun.  I was this close (gesturing with his hand) to being late tonight because I couldn’t find it.  As for the other murders, I seriously under-estimated how fucked up Steve’s friends were.  You guys took care of basically everything on your own.  I was prepared to do everything, the only thing I needed was the location of the money and you led me right to it! 

White:  Then why are you still talking?  Just kill me!

(Green gently touches the handle of the knife sticking out of White and gives her a sinister sneer)

Green:  Best idea I’ve heard all night!  But first…don’t think I’m a total heartless bastard I got some white lilies for your troubles!

 (Green grabs a handful of money out of the bag and bunches it up with the white lilies and stuffs them in her mouth.  White struggles to breathe.  Green takes out the knife in White’s shoulder but then stabs her repeatedly in the chest with blood squirting everywhere.  White’s body goes limp and it’s clear she’s dead.  Green gathers all the remaining money and stuffs it back in the bag. Green pulls a cell phone out of his pocket)

Green (talking on phone):  Amy, sweetheart yeah it is done……everything went perfectly…no you described the secret passages perfectly……no they didn’t suspect a thing.  Well there’s one thing?   THOSE ASSHOLES GOT BLOOD ON MY MONEY!!!!!

Amy (on phone screaming):   YOUR MONEY?

Green:  Sorry, our money! Meet me at the airport.  We have a flight to catch.  I love you too!

ENDING CREDITS BEGIN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpbbuaIA3Ds

(Green grabs money, leaves secret passage, and leaves through the front door).