Ending C

(The scene opens in the Conservatory where Peacock is trying to get out of the room, but Mustard is blocking her.  Mustard takes a swing with the wrench but Peacock ducks and hits Mustard in the hand with the lead pipe, knocking the wrench out of Mustard’s hand. )

Mustard:  What the hell did you do that for?

Peacock:  to protect myself!  You took the first swing!

Mustard (holding his injured hand): This ends right here!

Peacock:  Yes, it does!  I under-estimated how crazy you were.

Mustard:  Crazy, I am!?!?

Peacock:  Yes, Steve warned me how militant you can become.  I just didn’t think that meant homicidal.

Mustard: It’s time to put an end to your lies and deceit!

(Mustard lunges for Peacock and both hit the floor. They wrestle around on the floor with Peacock holding her own against Mustard.  Each one is trying to get ahold of either weapon.  Mustard is able to get to his feet and grab the wrench.  He goes to swing it at Peacock but as he winds up she stands up quickly and knees him in the testicles.  Mustard falls to the ground, thriving in pain.  Peacock bends over to pick up the lead pipe when she stands upright she is struck in the back of the head with the candlestick.  Mustard recovers enough to see what’s going on and sees Scarlet standing over Peacock’s body holding the candlestick).

Mustard:  Miss Scarlet!  I knew you were the killer!

(White enters the Conservatory holding Mustard’s gun, stands next to Scarlet and aims gun at Mustard.)

White:  Let’s not jump the gun!

Mustard:  I should have known you two were in on it together, you poured the act on a little too thick.

Scarlet:  Oh, we still hate each other!

White:  You’re damn right we do, you hateful bitch!

Scarlet:  It’s amazing what a difference $5 million makes.

 (Mustard stands up still very much in pain)

Mustard:  You two won’t get away with this!

Scarlet:  Why not?  We have money to collect, just one little final matter.

(Mustard grabs the wrench and taps it in the palm of his hand as to suggest he’s about to kill them.)

White:  You’re kidding right?  You think you’re going to beat us with that wrench.  Need I remind you that there were two bullets missing?  The first one was one for Prof. Plum and well you get one guess where the second one is going. 

Scarlet:  Oh, I think it has your name on it!

Mustard:  I will kill you two bitches, I swear

(White pulls the trigger and kills Mustard blowing a whole through his chest.  Scarlet covers her ears)

White:  Was that really necessary?

Scarlet:  Yes, you wanted him dead didn’t you?

White:  Not that you idiot, I thought you said you were going to put the silencer back on?

Scarlet:  Why?  We’re the only ones left and now we’re millionaires.

White:  First things first we need to clean this mess up!

Scarlet:  Why?  We’re just going to leave after this?

White:  When, not if, but when the cops come I don’t want to make their job easy?

 (Scarlet smirks in agreement)

White:  Let’s start with Mrs. Peacock, make sure she’s dead.

Scarlet:  I whacked her pretty good, I would be surprised if she survived.

White:  Just check, please.

(As Scarlet bends down to check her pulse, White picks up the lead pipe on the floor and whacks Scarlet over the head with it.  She falls to the ground, bleeding from her head but still conscious.  White straddles Scarlet who is obviously injured and near death).

White:  There, there Miss Scarlet, don’t feel bad like most whores you served your purpose but your money is on the nightstand so it’s time to go!

(White winds back with the lead pipe as Scarlet’s eyes open all the way.  White repeatedly smashes Scarlet’s face in with the lead pipe. There is no doubt that Scarlet is dead.  She stands up and notices all the blood that is on her maid’s uniform).

White (to herself):  Now, that was satisfying.  (Sigh of exasperation).  I need to get changed if I’m going to catch my flight!

(White walks out of the Conservatory and heads down to her living quarters in the cellar.  She changes back into the black dress that Steve gave her earlier. After changing, she heads up to the Dining Room.  She sits down in the chair she sat at during dinner looking down at Steve’s dead body. 

White (says to herself):  I couldn’t have planned that better….oh wait I did plan it just like that!

(White goes over to the record player and puts on a song, it’s Rufus Wainwright’s “Dinner at 8”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BscDa4X4_o

(White sits down at the kitchen table and lights a cigarette.   White knows every word of the song and sings along looking at Steve’s body the entire time.  After the song is over, White gets up and heads into the kitchen and steps over Green’s body.  She opens the pantry door and pushes on the hook that the aprons hang on.  The wall extends back revealing a second secret passage.  She starts walking in the secret passage and stops halfway down.  There is a bag of money there. White kneels down and grabs a fistful of dollars

White (to herself):  Miss Scarlet, I still don’t know how you killed Mr. Green and Prof. Plum!

(A man’s voice coming directly behind says “She didn’t”.  White is in complete surprise as she recognizes the voice belonging to Mr. Green.  As she turns around Green takes the knife out of his chest and stabs White in the in the upper right shoulder.  She falls to the ground and Green stands over her. White cannot move and is in an incredible amount of pain.)

White:  How?  You were bleeding, Col, Mustard had to wipe your blood off of his hands

(Green takes off his suit jacket revealing a large vest underneath)

Green:  It was all rather easy, actually.  Granted, you need the right tools for the job.

(Green points to a part of the vest which has an opening to store a knife.  He dabs his finger on his vest and a little blood is on his finger.  He tastes it and grimaces and then says "at least it looks like blood")

White: So when I stabbed you, I really just put the knife in your holster

Green:  Well technically, you didn’t stab anything but air.  I had to do most of the work. Even though the lights were out, I knew it was you.  Oh, and good touch with short-circuiting the electricity at that exact moment.

White:  I used a….

Green:  Oh, I know what you used.  I saw the fusebox.  Funny, nobody else asked to see the fusebox.  Amateur criminals!

White:  So are you a professional criminal?

Green (blushing in a sick & twisted way):  Well I don’t like to brag but one doesn’t get the name Mr. Green by not knowing what he is doing.  That’s right I’m Mr. Green because I’m rich….FAT FUCKING RICH!  What they say is true the rich get richer!  (Green laughs maniacally). 

White:  and that whole speech about being nothing like your father was a total crock?

Green:  Oh no, that part was true.  I’m nothing like my father, I don’t get caught!  (more maniacal laughing).

White:  So why not finish the job?

Green:  Oh, I will momentarily.  When you are as good as I am with murder, you get to chronicle every detail to your last victim.  You don’t want to steal that from me, do you?

White:  You’re sick!

Green:  (in an animated, demented fashion):  Of course I’m crazy!  So are you, you geriatric, possessive, controlling insane bitch. 

(White tries to get up but she can’t, the pain is too intense.)

 Green: You see I came here tonight plotting every detail of what it would take for 6 murders, including how big of a vest I would need.

White:  When you came to the kitchen?

Green:  I don’t care what seasonings you put in your god damn brine.  No, I had to scope out the knives.  You see tonight was so much easier than I anticipated so thank you.  Steve, or Mr. Body as I like to call him was killed-for me.  The electricity was cut-for me, my life was attempted at for me, so a genuine thank you!

 (White tries to spit at him, but all that comes out is blood)

Green:  Shall I continue?

(Silence from White)

Green:  Now, I did have to kill Prof. Plum…and let me tell you how difficult it was to find a silencer for that gun.  I was this close (gesturing with his hand) to being late tonight because I couldn’t find it.  As for the other murders, I seriously under-estimated how fucked up Steve’s friends were.  You guys took care of basically everything on your own.  I was prepared to do everything, the only thing I needed was the location of the money and you led me right to it! 

White:  Then why are you still talking?  Just kill me!

(Green gently touches the handle of the knife sticking out of White and gives her a sinister sneer)

Green:  Best idea I’ve heard all night!  But first…don’t think I’m a total heartless bastard I got some white lilies for your troubles!

 (Green grabs a handful of money out of the bag and bunches it up with the white lilies and stuffs them in her mouth.  White struggles to breathe.  Green takes out the knife in White’s shoulder but then stabs her repeatedly in the chest with blood squirting everywhere.  White’s body goes limp and it’s clear she’s dead.  Green gathers all the remaining money and stuffs it back in the bag. Green pulls a cell phone out of his pocket)

Green (talking on phone):  Amy, sweetheart yeah it is done……everything went perfectly…no you described the secret passages perfectly……no they didn’t suspect a thing.  Well there’s one thing?   THOSE ASSHOLES GOT BLOOD ON MY MONEY!!!!!

Amy (on phone screaming):   YOUR MONEY?

Green:  Sorry, our money! Meet me at the airport.  We have a flight to catch.  I love you too!

ENDING CREDITS BEGIN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpbbuaIA3Ds

(Green grabs money, leaves secret passage, and leaves through the front door).

Ending B

B

(The fight between Mustard and Peacock in the Conservatory continues.  There is shattered glass everywhere and all the greenery is knocked over.  Neither Mustard nor Peacock has their weapon as they were each knocked out of the other’s hand.)

Mustard: This ends right here!

Peacock:  Yes, it does!  I under-estimated how crazy you were.

Mustard:  Crazy, I am!?!?

Peacock:  Yes, Steve warned me how militant you can become.  I just didn’t think that meant homicidal.

Mustard: It’s time to put an end to your lies and deceit!

(Mustard lunges for Peacock and both hit the floor. They wrestle around on the floor with Peacock holding her own against Mustard.  Each one is trying to find either the wrench or the lead pipe but both are hidden under the greenery and shattered glass.)

(Scarlet and White’s fight has continued into the ballroom.  Both are bruised and scratched up.  They are standing across from each other both exhausted.  They can both hear crashing sounds coming from the Conservatory).

Scarlet:  Do you hear that? 

White:  Of course!  It doesn’t change anything. You are still the killer!

Scarlet: Don’t get me wrong killing you will be very satisfying but why would they be trying to kill each other if one of them isn’t the killer?

White:  I don’t know, I don’t care. I told you it doesn’t matter!

Scarlet:  You’re just a wrinkled up old woman with no weapon what in the hell do you think you are going to do?

White:  I don’t need a weapon!

(White charges Scarlet and pushes Scarlet up against the window. The impact cracks the window. White grabs the rope that is attached to the curtain and wraps it around Scarlet’s neck.)

White:  Admit it, you killed him!

Scarlet:  Stop pretending! It’s obvious that you and Col. Mustard are in on it.

White:  I DIDN’T DO IT!!!

(Scarlet begins to turn blue and soon goes limp.  It is obvious that she is dead.  White eventually lets up the tension on the rope after seeing Scarlet is dead. She tears down the drapes from the rod as they are torn beyond repair. She stands to her feet and brushes herself off and regains her composure).

White:  There, now you can’t kill anyone else.  I knew from the beginning you were after his money, but I under-estimated just how far you would go to get it.  I know he had cancer and was on his way to the grave but being poisoned is a terrible way to die!

(White realizes that the noises from the Conservatory have stopped.  She looks straight ahead and sees a figure in the reflection of the window.  It is Peacock’s silhouette and she is carrying a wrench.  White doesn’t turn around but continues to give the speech to Scarlet’s body).

White:  I loved him more than you ever could have, despite what you believe to be true.

(White bends down to unfasten the rope from Scarlet’s neck, the only possible weapon she has access to.  After she unfastens it, she stands back up.  She looks in the mirror, and she sees Peacock’s silhouette is much closer.  However, behind her she sees a bloody Col. Mustard slowly coming up from behind her.  White drops the rope and while looking straight ahead in the mirror begins speaking.)

White:  Congratulations, Mrs. Peacock you have out-smarted us all.

(Peacock is genuinely surprised that White can detect her presence but continues walking.)

Peacock:  How did you know? 

White:  The mirror, it has two faces.

(White turns around to face Peacock who is now near arm lengths distance).

Peacock:  I am sorry, Mrs. White.  Tonight really had nothing to do with you.  I had to say goodbye to an old friend

(White can see Mustard getting closer and closer)

White: You say that as if you didn’t just kill four people!

Peacock:  Mrs. White you are my sixth victim!

(Mustard is within an arm-length distance as Peacock winds up to take a swing at White with the wrench.)

White:  Perhaps! 

(Before Peacock completes her swing, Mustard hits her in the back of the head with a lead pipe.  Peacock falls to the floor, injured but not dead.  Mustard also falls to the floor from exhaustion).

White:  Perhaps not.  I told you the mirror has two faces.

(White takes several swings with the lead pipe to Peacock’s face and abdomen killing Peacock.  She runs over to tend to Mustard.)

White:  Are you ok?

Mustard:  far from it!

White:  Where does it hurt?

Mustard:  Everywhere!

White:  We can call for an ambulance. 

Mustard:  There’s no time for that!

White:  Yes there is.

Mustard:  Mrs. White, ever since I saw my brother murdered my only focus was to see his killer brought to justice.  You helped bring down Mrs. Peacock.

White:  I really didn’t know what I was doing!  When I saw your reflection behind Peacock’s I knew I just had to buy some time. 

Mustard:  That may be, but you acted quickly and kept your cool.  If you would have alerted Mrs. Peacock to my presence, she would have easily turned around and killed me, then you.

White:  Well she would have tried.  I’m pretty tough.

Mustard:  I can see that! Now before it’s too late.

White (confused):  What?

Mustard:  The money is in the secret passage!

White:  It is?  Did we walk right past it?

Mustard:  No, not that secret passage, the other one!

White:  The other one!?!?

Mustard:  Yes, there’s a second secret passage from the kitchen to the Study.

White:  How do I access it?

Mustard:  Look in the pantry, push in the hook where you hang the aprons on. 

White:  how do you know about this? I can’t believe I haven’t discovered it!

Mustard:  You need to push hard, Steve showed me both secret passages when I first got back from Africa. 

White:  So you DID know about the first secret passage!?!?

Mustard:  I’ve known about both from the beginning but didn’t say anything because people for sure would have thought that I did it.

White:  How did she know about the secret passage?

Mustard:  That’s what I was wrestling with up until the very end but then I remembered Peacock and Plum broke away from the main conversation early in the evening and went into the library.  I think that is when they plotted things out.

White:  Plum was in on it?

Mustard:  I can’t be certain but he was one of Steve’s most trusted friends, I could see him telling Plum.  Then Peacock could have easily betrayed and killed him.

White:  I don’t know what to say.

Mustard:  You don’t have to say anything!  Just take the money, you are the only one left and out of all the people here tonight you deserve it the most.  My brother was lucky to have you working for him the past 20 years. 

White:  What am I supposed to tell the police?

Mustard:  Nothing!

White:  Nothing?

Mustard:  They know nothing of tonight.  Take the money and do whatever you want.  I would suggest going somewhere as when they do detect Steve is missing they will begin to ask questions and see that most of his loved ones are missing as well.

(White nods in agreement and gets up to head towards the kitchen, she comes back shortly afterwards with the bag of money in her hands and goes to thank Col. Mustard.  However it is very clear that he is already dead, succumbing to his injuries!)

White (knowing full well she is talking to herself):  Thanks again, Col. Mustard.  I think I will get out of here there’s no possible explanation that the police will accept!

(White takes a sigh of exasperation)

White:  I certainly can’t leave the house in this condition. 

(White walks over to the kitchen and grabs some rags out of the drawer.  She then gets the bucket and mop. She fills the bucket with hot water and then she re-opens the secret passage that Col. Mustard told her about. She drags Mr. Green’s body to the secret passage.  She then goes over to the ballroom and one by one she drags their bodies to that same secret passage.  She pauses to catch her breathe).

White:  I’m too old for this!

(White works up enough motivation to get Plum’s body from the Billiard Room.  She begins to drag his body out of the room but has to stop because the sight of his corpse is too much for her to bear. She goes back over to the kitchen to get a full towel to cover the upper half of Plum’s body.  She drags his corpse to the Kitchen’s secret passage with the others. 

White:  There, now you are all together.  Just in case the police find the other secret passage.  Now just one more, obviously the hardest.

(White goes over to the Dining Room and drags Steve’s corpse into the same secret passage.  She then gathers all the weapons and puts them in the secret passage.  She then goes downstairs to her private living quarters and changes back into the black formal dress that Steve gave her earlier.  She grabs some white lilies and also brings her maid’s outfit.  She returns upstairs to the kitchen.  She looks at all six bodies in the secret passage with Steve’s being closest to the kitchen.  She lays the maid’s outfit sideways over Steve’s body and puts the white lilies in Steve’s hand)

White:  I know I must seem ridiculous talking to myself in a room full of dead people but if I don’t I’ll go even more crazy than I already am.  Steve, I loved you more than I thought possible.   I would have done anything for you.  You have given me so many white lilies over the years to comfort me, it seems like the right thing to do even in this dire time.  I will miss you so much but remember wherever I go your spirit will be with me.

(White closes the secret passage and goes over to the bucket full of soap and water.  She turns on the stereo in the kitchen and begins mopping the floors extending from the Kitchen to Billiard Room.  She breaks down in half laughter, half tears.)

ENDING CREDITS BEGIN: Unforgettable by Nat King Cole

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOKRh9Z6U54

White:  Even now, in the final hour, I am STILL cleaning up Steve’s messes! 

Ending A

A

(The fight between Mustard and Peacock in the Conservatory continues.  There is shattered glass everywhere and all the greenery is knocked over.  Neither Mustard nor Peacock has their weapon as they were each knocked out of the other’s hand.)

Mustard (holding his hand which was injured in the fight): This ends right here!

Peacock:  Yes, it does!  I under-estimated how crazy you were.

Mustard:  Crazy, I am!?!?

Peacock:  Yes, Steve warned me how militant you can become.  I just didn’t think that meant homicidal.

Mustard: It’s time to put an end to your lies and deceit!

(Mustard lunges for Peacock and both hit the floor. They wrestle around on the floor with Peacock holding her own against Mustard.  Each one is trying to find either the wrench or the lead pipe but both are hidden under the greenery and shattered glass.)

(Scarlet and White’s fight has continued into the ballroom.  Both are bruised and scratched up.  They are standing across from each other both exhausted.  They can both hear crashing sounds coming from the Conservatory).

Scarlet:  Do you hear that? 

White:  Of course!  It doesn’t change anything. You are still the killer

Scarlet: Don’t get me wrong killing you will be very satisfying but why would they be trying to kill each other if one of them isn’t the killer?

White:  I don’t know, I don’t care. I told you it doesn’t matter!

Scarlet:  You’re just a wrinkled up old woman with no weapon what in the hell do you think you are going to do?

White:  I don’t need a weapon!

(White charges Scarlet, pushing her into the window.  Her head cracks the window but it doesn’t break.  In desperation, Scarlet grabs the rope that is connected to the drapes by the window. She tries to get the rope around White’s neck but White has the leverage over Scarlet.  Instead, White is the one that gets the rope around Scarlet’s neck.)

White:  I can’t believe you stole him from me and then killed him!

Scarlet:  I didn’t steal him! He just didn’t want you, he never did!

(White tightens the rope making it so Scarlet can’t talk.  Scarlet looks up over White’s shoulder, her speech is muffled but she lets out a whimper of “help!”)

White:  You don’t expect me to fall for that?

(White is hit in the back of the head with a wrench, White’s body falls to the side which enables Scarlet to take the rope off from around her neck.  She coughs for a couple of seconds re-gaining her composure.)

Scarlet (looking at White’s body):  no, but I bet you’ll fall for that you stupid bitch!

(Scarlet looks up and extends her hand)

Scarlet:  What took you so long?

Mustard:  She’s tougher than she looked!

Scarlet:  Is she dead?

Mustard:  They both are, yes!

(Mustard pulls Scarlet up and they embrace in a kiss)

Scarlet:  It’s finally over, let’s get our money!

Mustard:  Just a second

Scarlet:  What, why?

(Mustard steps over White’s body and goes over to the record player. He pulls a record out of its sleeve and puts it in the record player.  It’s Leonard Cohen’s “Dance Me to the End of Love”) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEVow6kr5nI

Mustard:  May I have this dance? 

Scarlet:  Now?  After all that? 

Mustard:  Yes, now!

Scarlet:  but you’re all bloody?

Mustard:  I don’t mind if you do!

Scarlet:  Actually, it’s kinda hot! 

(Scarlet grabs Mustard’s hand)

Mustard:  Be careful, you’ll need to step over Mrs. White’s body!

Scarlet:  I’ve been waiting all night to be able to do that!

(They dance very closely and intimately)

Mustard:  You know from the second I first saw you I knew I had to be with you.

Scarlet:  I know! I have felt the same from the beginning.

Mustard:  I never thought another woman could make me forget about Amy but you have done just that! 

Scarlet: Can we please stop talking about Amy?

Mustard: of course! It’s just I’m happy I’m with the woman I love

(Scarlet smirks)

Mustard:  So where is my gun?

Scarlet:  Still in the secret passage

Mustard:  which one?

Scarlet:  the second one, silly.  I’m not foolish enough to leave murder weapons behind.

Mustard:  Why was the silencer in the first secret passage? 

Scarlet:  about that, yeah things didn’t go as smoothly as we rehearsed.  I panicked and knew I had to get back to the Billiard Room.

Mustard:  So you just dropped it?

Scarlet:  Yes, I panicked.  I could have gone back for it but I risked someone detecting my absence.

Mustard:  It’s alright.  Everything worked out in the end.

Scarlet:  Everything did work out in the end.  I didn’t think that explosive would work as well as it did!

Scarlet: I know I kept on fearing that the timer would go off too soon! I can’t believe Mrs. White didn’t notice anything when she went down to the fuse box.

Mustard:  We must have done an adequate job of freaking her out. 

(Scarlet laughs)

Scarlet:  Yeah, she was only good at deceit when she thought of it.  She was horrible at noticing other people’s deceit. 

(Mustard spins and twirls Scarlet.  When Scarlet turns back around from the twirl she sees Mustard pointing a gun at her.  She quickly ducks and grabs a smaller kitchen knife under her dress that was under her garter. She throws the knife and it hits Mustard in the chest near his right shoulder. Mustard falls to the ground in pain and his gun drops to the floor.)

Scarlet:  You know I always thought it was possible you would betray me but I thought you really did love me.

Mustard: I do love you, I just can’t trust you…not with 5 million dollars on the line.

(Scarlet picks up the gun)

Scarlet: Just in case you get any ideas.

(Mustard continues to grimace in pain while Scarlet opens the barrel of the gun)

Scarlet:  your arrogance got the better of you.  You could have re-loaded.  Clearly you went back for your gun after killing Mrs. Peacock.

(Mustard nods)

Scarlet:  I could have died.  If you were smart, you would have just waited until she choked me out.

(Scarlet closes the barrel and spins it around).

Mustard: For what it’s worth I wasn’t sure until the very end what I was going to do.

(Scarlet walks over to mustard and kicks him in the shoulder where the knife is still in. Mustard screams in pain and falls over lying on his back.   Scarlet stands over him and points the gun at him).

Scarlet:  Any final words?

Mustard:  Just that Miss Scarlet is actually a very suitable name for you!

(Scarlet pulls the trigger, instantly killing Mustard)

Scarlet (said in a cold, distant fashion):  Yeah, it’s growing on me. 

(Scarlet walks over to the kitchen and accesses the second secret passage through the pantry closet. She walks halfway down the secret passage and grabs the bag of money)

Scarlet (talking to herself):  Steve I would have done anything for you, if you only wouldn’t have betrayed me.  You wouldn’t let me help you, so I decided to help myself!

(Scarlet walks out of the secret passage with the money. She then closes the secret passage and walks out the front door. She gets in her car and after she starts the engine “Let the good times roll by the cars play.  Scarlet says to herself:  “Perfect”.  Scarlet drives away with this song blaring.)

Music that plays with the end credits

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCmkZFMSuFQ

part 3

Part 3

(After White makes the announcement she begins to walk out of the study, the three remaining guests follow her.  The four walk across the hall over to the Lounge).  

Peacock (talking to Scarlet):  Do you really think there’s a secret passage?  It seems so random

Scarlet:  I don’t know.  Steve never mentioned it! 

Peacock:  It’s not something you would mention, then it’s not exactly secret.

(The four enter the Lounge and Mrs. White pushes on the upper corner of the painting and it swings open)

White (looking at Scarlet):  its okay Ms. Scarlet, we all know he trusted you in other ways.

(Everyone walks through the passage)

Mustard:  It’s mighty dark in here!

White:  Yes it is. 

(Mrs. White bends down and reaches in the dark to find a candlestick.  She pulls some matches out of the pocket of her maid’s uniform.  She is able to light the candlestick and light their path)

Scarlet:  What is this?

Mustard:  What is what?

Scarlet:  This!

(Scarlet is holding a large metal tube-like contraption, White shines the candlestick on it closer).

Mustard:  I think that’s a silencer!

Peacock:  For your gun?

Mustard:  Well yes I assume but I never owned a silencer.  Someone must have brought one tonight.

Peacock:  Someone?   Awfully convenient that it’s not you.  I mean who else would know what kind of attachment to buy?

Scarlet:  That’s a good question!

(Scarlet, White and Peacock stare at Mustard suspiciously).

Mustard:  Why would I leave behind the silencer to my gun?

Peacock:  Easy, it’s in the secret passage and maybe you thought no one else knew about the secret passage.

Mustard:  Clearly, Mrs. White knew about the secret passage.

Peacock:  You didn’t know that at the time!

White:  Enough!  Let’s just take this silencer or whatever it is with us.  We can take a closer look at it in the light.  Let’s get to the other side of this secret passage!

(White holds onto the silencer).

Mustard:  Where does it even come out?

White:  In the conservatory

Peacock:  I didn’t even know you had a Conservatory!

White: Yes, we, do.  It’s where Steve and I grow…grew the white lilies that he gave me.

Peacock:  What is the significance of the white lilies anyways?

White:  Over the years, many of my loved ones have passed away. After each time Steve would pick me some white lilies to help comfort me!

Scarlet:  Death just seems to follow you!

White (biting back):  That’s right, and yet here I am still standing. 

Peacock:  Is that why he nicknamed you Mrs. White?

 (White bangs into an object in the dark)

White:  Ow! 

Mustard:  Are you OK, Mrs. White?

Peacock:  Help her, Col. Mustard!

White:  I’m fine, I’m fine.  Stop fussing!

Peacock:  What did you run into? 

White:  I have no idea, the last time I was in here it was totally empty. 

Scarlet (suspicious):  So, you’ve been in here before?

White:  Well, obviously.  How else would I know about it?  It’s just it was a long time ago.  Steve made me promise I wouldn’t come in here as it was his one place in the house people wouldn’t think to look for him. 

Mustard: and how exactly did you find out about this in the first place?  It seems like something he would have shared with me!

White:  It does?  You have been back 3 months and you have a history of sleeping with his wife.

Mustard:  No need to get nasty Mrs. White.  I am still his brother and I can respect people’s privacy. 

(Mrs. White puts the lit candlestick on top of the safe)

Scarlet:  What’s in the safe?

White:  Easy Scarlet, you’ll get what’s coming to you soon enough

Scarlet:  Is that a threat?

White:  it’s empty!

Scarlet:  No threats are empty!

White:  No, I meant the safe, it’s empty

(White points to the safe)

Mustard:  What?  Totally empty?!?!?

White:  well there are a few items he kept as mementos but the money is gone.

Scarlet:  and HOW exactly do you know there was money here in the first place?

White:  It’s a safe, it stores money, that’s what they are used for. 

Mustard:  No, no…it’s obvious that the money was here but recently moved.

Peacock:  the question remains, moved by whom?  Steve or maybe the killer.

Scarlet:  I’m guessing Steve moved it maybe he sensed that someone was after it.

Mustard:  Why do you say that?

Scarlet:  Well, if the killer moved it he….or she…would have left by now

Peacock:  Not exactly.  They still have to do away with the competition.

(Mustard, Scarlet and White look at Peacock suspiciously after that statement)

Peacock:  What?  It’s no secret that the killer wants the money to themselves and there’s only one way to accomplish this.

Scarlet:  She’s right!

(White begins to go through the mementos in the safe)

Mustard:  What is in there?  I’m curious

(White begins to pull out an item in the safe but it is hard to make out in the dark, even with the small amount of light emanating from the candlestick.)

White:  It’s hard to make out. 

(Mustard unexpectedly grabs the candlestick from White’s hand)

White:  Hey, what are you doing?

Mustard:  Just helping you see what it is.

White:  You call that help?

Scarlet: and what is it?

White:  I think it’s the picture of Steve and I when we first met

Peacock:  You think?

White:  Yes, It’s so dark in here we can’t see anything.  Let’s gather everything from the safe along with this silencer and proceed to the conservatory. 

(White and Mustard work together to gather everything from the safe.  White holds the candlestick over the open safe while Mustard grabs everything in his arms.  Everyone begins walking towards the end of the secret passage leading into the Conservatory.)

White:  Did you need any help carrying this, Col. Mustard?

Mustard:  No, I’m fine.

White:  Are you sure, it seems like a lot!

Mustard (firmer):  I’m fine.

Scarlet:  How much further is it?

White:  Just keep going until you can’t go any further.  If my memory is right you just have to climb up the small staircase at the end.  Just be careful, you have to push a heavy potter’s plant out of the way.  It may take some strength!  Once you push it out of the way there is a small opening that you have to crawl through.  

(Scarlet reaches the staircase first and tries to push the potted plant out of the way)

Scarlet:  I can’t get it

(Peacock jumps in and pushes Scarlet out of the way.  Peacock has no problem with pushing the plant out of the way. White and Scarlet are the first to exit the secret passage and enter the conservatory.  At first the room isn’t that much brighter than the secret passage.)

White:  Alright, once everyone gets out of the secret passage I will turn on the lights.

Scarlet:  Why are they off?

White:  This room has been closed more or less. We’ve had some plumbing problems so we’ve been working on getting the sink fixed.  It keeps on leaking.  Steve was trying to fix it in time for tonight’s party but he never got around to it.

Scarlet:  It seems like a good job for a maid!

White:  Ordinarily I would agree but I’m not strong enough to get the pipe off.  Steve had been loosening it so we can clean it. 

(Peacock and Mustard enter the Conservatory.  Mustard puts the items on a table while Peacock moves back the potted plant. White flips the switch turning the lights on in the Conservatory.)

White:  Oh, I remember this!  It was one of the first days I worked for him.  He wanted a picture of us together. 

Peacock:  Who took the picture?

White:  Amy did

Scarlet:  See, she can’t be all bad!

White:  Yes, she can!  I don’t believe it!

(White picks up a clipping of the classified ad)

Peacock:  What?

White:  Steve even kept a clipping of the classified ad he put in the paper.  I had no idea he kept any of this.

Scarlet:  I thought you knew him.  Steve was very sentimental like that.

(Peacock picks up a picture from the pile of items.  It appears to be a family picture with Steve, col. Mustard and their parents.)

Peacock:  Now this is the Steve I remember

(Mustard jerks the picture out of Peacock’s hand)

Peacock:  What is it with you and grabbing things without any warning?

Mustard (seemingly in his own little world, talking to himself):  I can’t believe he kept it.  He said he didn’t have it, I wanted to take this photo to Africa with me. 

Scarlet:  What is it a picture of?

Mustard:  It’s a family photo of my brother and me with our parents taken some twenty years ago. 

(Mustard begins to tear up)

Mustard:  I can’t believe they are really all gone.  First my parents died in the plane crash, then Amy telling me it was over and now tonight.  I still can’t believe my brother is dead. 

(White picks up a small rectangular box)

White: What is this? 

Mustard:  That’s the box I bullets I gave Steve as soon as I got back from Africa. 

(Mustard opens the box and reacts in surprise)

Mustard:  Some of the bullets ARE missing, but only two of them!

Scarlet:  Strange, whoever took them didn’t take them all.

White: Well one of us knows exactly what they are doing…these bullets were hidden.  The killer not only knew about the secret passage but they had to know the combination assuming it wasn’t locked.

Peacock:  It’s pointless to have a safe if you are going to keep it open. 

Scarlet:  which means Mrs. White since you are the only one who knew about the secret passage, you are looking incredibly guilty.

White:  Why would I show you the secret passage only to reveal to you how I killed people? 

(Scarlet, Mustard, and Peacock look at each other trying to find a reasonable answer but there is none).

Scarlet:  How about to create confusion?  You could have recognized yourself as the primary suspect so you purposefully threw a curve into the scenario.

White:  No, just because I showed it to you doesn’t mean that I was the only one who knew about it.  We all have spent enough time in this house to find out about it, either by discovering on accident or maybe Steve showed it to one of you.

Peacock:  Well, everyone but me.  Before tonight, I hadn’t seen Steve in nearly 10 years.  I have never seen this house before!

Mustard:  Enough!  Prof. Plum was right all these constant accusations is getting us nowhere. We still haven’t figured out how the electricity went out right at the exact time Mr. Green was killed!

Peacock:  Maybe it wasn’t planned ahead of time!  Maybe they just went out and whoever killed Mr. Green was simply taking advantage of the situation?

White (said with disdain):  Do you see the obvious in anything, Mrs. Peacock?

Mustard: No one can be that stupid

Peacock (in a firm tone): EXCUSE ME?

Mustard:  We know that the killer is either you or Miss Scarlet. 

Scarlet:  We do?

Mustard:  Yes, we do.  Mrs. White and I were together so there’s no way either of us did it.

Peacock:  Yes, there is.  Maybe you two are in on it.

Mustard:  What did you just say to me?  Did you just accuse me of killing my own brother?

Peacock (getting in Mustard’s face): I sure did.  All night long you’ve been saying “whoever did this”, it’s an obvious ploy to get us thinking it wasn’t you.  The fact remains Prof. Plum was killed with your gun! A silencer was found to go with your gun.  Since Mrs. White knows about the secret passage maybe you two are in on it!

(Mustard loses all semblance of control and snaps on Peacock)

Mustard:  I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS!  WE HAVE 3 DEAD BODIES IN THIS HOUSE AND I’M ACCUSED.  NOT THE WHORE! (turning to Scarlet)

Scarlet:  Watch it Col. Mustard, you’re on thin ice

Mustard:  NOT THE CONTROLLING, OBSESSED, MANIPULATIVE MAID! (turning to White)

White:  I’m on your side…or at least I was.

Mustard:  AND NOT THE BATTERED WIFE TURNED BUTCHER! (turning to Peacock).

Peacock:  Now, I KNOW you did it!

(Mustard runs over to the sink where he finds a wrench in a plastic tub under the sink.  He proudly holds it up)

Peacock:  A wrench?  What are you going to do with that?

Mustard:  Protect myself!  One of you is a killer!

Scarlet:  Why do we have weapons just lying around?

White:  I told you we’ve been trying to fix the sink and we’ve been loosening up the pipes.

Peacock:  Great and now we have a madman wielding a wrench.

Mustard:  Mad man!?!?!?

(Peacock goes over to the sink and starts pulling on the pipe connected to the sink)

White:  What are you trying to do?  Yank the sink from the wall?

(Peacock struggles with tearing off the lead pipe but finally does)

Peacock:  No, just the lead pipe. 

(Peacock goes over to Mustard with the lead pipe)

Peacock:  Now, we’re even!

Scarlet:  Enough you two, put those weapons down!

(Peacock & Mustard simultaneously):  WHY?

Scarlet:  because neither one of you is the killer.

(Scarlet turns to face White.)

Scarlet:  It’s been a very good performance but enough is enough. 

White:  What exactly are you referring to?

Scarlet:  Col. Mustard was right about one thing!    You are a lonely, desperate, manipulating old shrew who undoubtedly feels entitled to Steve’s life savings.  You never had what it took to be with him so you must feel entitled to his life savings.

White:  Well since we are detailing motives with such brutal honesty, you are nothing more than a cheap, gold-digging, scantily-clad slut who will do ANYTHING to get her way.   You’ve been after Steve’s money from the get-go and no one is buying your little innocent “love knows no age” bullshit.  You won’t get away with this.

Scarlet:  with what?

White:  Murder!

(Scarlet quickly walks up to Scarlet, they are nose to nose. Scarlet slaps White right in the face.  White returns the slap which leads to a physical altercation spilling out into the hallway.  Peacock runs to try to break them up but Mustard blocks her from leaving the room)

Mustard:  We’re not done here!

Peacock:  What do you mean?  Those two could kill each other!

Mustard:  They could, you’re right.  Even if they did, you’re still guilty of killing my brother and you must pay for that. 

(Peacock is initially intimated by this but then grips the lead pipe tighter to suggest she isn’t afraid.)

Peacock:  I’m not afraid to use this

Mustard:  Neither am I!

(Meanwhile, White and Scarlet’s fight is now in the ballroom. They are punching and kicking each other.  While they are fighting they can each her loud banging noises coming from the Conservatory.)